| [ | Current Music |
| | It actually sounds like the rain stopped, but i will go look anyway. | ] |
Hey, look, I wrote something. Fucking took long enough. Likely needs heavy editing (go!), but I am going to go curl up in my window and watch the rain some more.
First told as a story to myself, curled up as a fetus, breath fogging the glass and occasional drops flying in and onto my glasses. Transcribed as well as I could.
“Grandmother! I can’t sleep. The cars are too loud.” “You can sleep just fine, child. Close your eyes.” “But I can’t! I keep waking up.” “Listen, little one. What do you hear?” “… I hear the cars, grandmother, I told you! They’re screeching their tires on the street.” “No! That is no sound, only useless human noise. Block it out and again listen.” “I hear people laughing and speaking. Then, again, I hear the sound of the cars! It is there, grandmother, I do hear it.” “Pfaugh. Your ears are broken, clogged from too many advertisements. Imagine that it is a sunny day, but the cloud is hazy with gray. In the sky is a single white cloud. If I point at the cloud and ask what you see, how would you answer?” “I would see a cloud, grandmother.” “Yes! A cloud, not the smog in front of it. It is like this for your ears as well. You are just hearing the smog, now. Listen deeper.” “I hear… I hear us breathing. You, and I.” “Closer, boy. But listen deeper.” “I hear the house creak. I hear the wind outside, and the shaking of the trees.” “Almost, my dear. Almost. A bit deeper now.” “I hear…” his eyes snap open “I hear the pitter patter of a million drops on a thousand things, over and over. I hear the rain!” “Yes! You hear the rain!” “No, grandmother. It is not raining outside now. I was mistaken.” “You foolish boy. You were right for once in your life. It is always there, the rain. You can hear it through the voices of men and animals, you can hear it in the wind, you can hear it in your heartbeat. Do you know why?” “Grandmother, that makes no sense. How could I –“ “Do you know why?” “No, grandmother.” “So listen. The rain was there in the beginning. In those days the world was just one giant ocean with no land, and across this ocean went the Rain. It was not rain like today, the rain that comes and goes in hours or even minutes. The rain today is a thing, here and gone. Then, the rain was never gone, just a constant storm in the skies. When something goes on for long enough like that, it stops being a thing. It becomes a beast, and at some point the Rain did just that. The Rainbeast was happy with its lot. It was younger than its brother-ocean, and more energetic, but they were both of the same element. Brother Ocean fed Rainbeast, and in turn Rainbeast fell into Brother Ocean. Theirs was a good life, serene, and the world was nothing but the speech of Rainbeast, constantly falling into his brother. You cannot imagine the noise! A storm now is a few hundred miles – the storm then was the world! Nothing anywhere but ocean and clouds; between them was Rainbeast as his constant chatter. But Rainbeast was young, as so he was foolish. He was more brash than Brother Ocean, and more needy as well. After years of being content, he began to be bored of his own sound. He felt the need for something new. Rainbeast thought long and hard, for years and years, and then one day said to Brother Ocean “Brother! Brother! This is not the proper life for either of us. It is empty, this constant cycle. Brother, make us a Sister, bring her to be nurtured and cared for, so that our life may have purpose!” But Brother Ocean was old and calm and wise, and to himself though “Rainbeast is young, and this is a madness. He will grow out of it in time.” To his brother Rainbeast he said, simply, “No”. Now Rainbeast was fickle, but on this he had made up his mind. Once every year, Rainbeast would say to Brother Ocean “Brother! Brother! Make us a sister, bring her to be nurtured and cared for, so that our life may have purpose!” Every year, Brother Ocean would respond with “No.” Five years passed. Then ten, then twenty, then a hundred. Every year Rainbeast would ask the same question, and Brother Ocean would respond the same. But then, after years and years, Brother Ocean changed his answer. “Rainbeast,” he said “I still think of this idea as madness. But you are older than you were, and wiser, and you have not changed your course. For this, I will do as you ask – I will make us a sister.” Stunned, Rainbeast could not reply, and for a moment the world was silent. But then he opened up with great joy, and Brother Ocean began to see merit in the idea. Searching his most silent depths, Brother Ocean found specks of dark rock that were warm and jagged. He thought the rocks would please Rainbeast, and he felt within them a spark of life that could become his Sister. Gathering his strength, Brother Ocean heaved himself under the rocks and pushed them upwards. The tips broke his surface. Delighted in the new sensation of his Sister, Rainbeast called “Brother! This is not enough! Our sister will not be a stunted thing – let her grow!” Brother Ocean, wearied from his effort, felt it his duty to do as Rainbeast asked. He gathered his strength again and with a great shove forced himself deeper, pushing his sister up farther. The mountains of the world now glistened in the rain of the world. Brother Ocean felt himself deeply tired – much of his strength was gone. Rainbeast still was not satisfied. He called to Brother Ocean again; “Brother! She is gorgeous and new, but still small! One more push, Brother, and we shall have a family.” Tired by his exertion, Brother Ocean had no will left to fight with Rainbeast. He felt carefully below the rocks he had moved, and found cracks that penetrated right to the hot center of the world. Slowly at first, then faster and faster, Brother Ocean sank himself down. He sunk right into the core of the world, and every inch he sunk rose his sister another inch. “Brother!” cried Rainbeast, “You have done it! We have a new sister to nurture, and she shall be our purpose and happiness. Thank you, Brother.” In the minutes that followed, there was no reply. And as he tried again and again with no response, Rainbeast knew he would never again hear his brother’s voice: When Brother Ocean gave so much of himself to move Sister Earth, he was lost within the world. Rainbeast could only fall on his mewling sister and mourn the loss of his brother. As time passed, the body that had been Brother Ocean and the might of Rainbeast fed Sister Earth, helping her grow. Rainbeast never forgave himself for the death of Brother Ocean, but caring for the Sister helped him grieve less. Sister Earth grew strong and beautiful, and she spoke often with Rainbeast. But still, he grew weaker and weaker, giving more and more of himself to Sister Earth. By the time she had children of her own, he was old and tired and still in mourning. By the time Sister Earth’s children started filling the air with black smoke, Rainbeast was barely speaking. Once the first of her children pierced Sister Earth’s skin for black fuel, Rainbeast let go of his tattered speech and stopped being a beast, becoming again a thing.” “But grandmother, if he’s gone, why can we still hear him?” “He is not gone, child, just lost and broken. He was not trapped within the world as Brother Ocean was, nor was he mutilated and raped like Sister Earth. Broken and faded, his echoes are the strongest of the three. He was the most energetic, and still is. No matter where you are, no matter what you are doing, you can still hear him. You can still hear the splashing chords of his speech, though you cannot understand them. Everywhere.” “Even in the desert?” “Even in the desert.” “What about if I’m on a roller coaster and it’s really loud?” “Even then, little one, if you listen hard enough you will hear rain. You just need to block out all the noise we humans make.” “But what about – “ “Hush, child. It is time for you to let the rain carry you to sleep.” “Goodnight, grandmother.” “Goodnight, little one.” |
